But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
