I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
