Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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