I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Sorry my hands just texted you
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
