coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
its liver damage thursday
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
