Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
