i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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