Already got asked if we're dating
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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