shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Randomize
