Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
