You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize