why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
