We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize