Where is the hickey?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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