Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
