she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
