just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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