When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
50% drunk capacity currently
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
