don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
