i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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