I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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