And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
