I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize