apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
