yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She needs sedatives and a leash
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
