You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
