Taylor Swift is so right about you.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
