Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
