In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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