Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
