He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I wear drunk well.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
