okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
