i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
