you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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