My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize