god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
