what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
