the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
