so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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