As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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