You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
