went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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