It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think people are normalizing furries
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
