If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
