on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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