There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I fill condoms, not promises.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
