I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
