We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
