wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize