You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
