Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
