I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
