there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
