After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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