I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
