so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
