we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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