well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
