i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
