I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
