it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
