just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Randomize
