the condom got lost in my hair
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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