I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
