lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
