You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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