just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
