Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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