They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
