i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
