Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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