were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
