Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
