16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
