My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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