the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
