so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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